What To Do

It seems silly to be writing a blog post when there are people in Christchurch waiting to be rescued after the earthquake. It has barely been twenty-four hours and yet so much has happened! I think many of us in Auckland feel helpless as there's nothing we can do except sit, watch and pray.

I feel like infertility and loss has taught me again and again that you can live life in 'two dimensions' (or levels?). Like you live the everyday and try your best with your daily activities where you move and and keep going in hope, but your inner life can be filled with much commotion like painful waiting or grief that you don't/can't wear on the outside.

I think this is what it is like in a disaster situation too... you are trying to get on with life or be pro-active in doing something, but your insides (heart, mind, etc.) is swarming with questions and emotion.

The hard part is sometimes the two seem to be in contrast, like me typing at my computer in my safe little Auckland-bubble, while thinking and praying for others who are in absolute danger or looking for missing family.

So..  transitioning to my small world, I was thinking to write a quick update. I've made it to 21 weeks! I'm past halfway. The husband managed to feel movements for the first time the other day too. That was very exciting and emotional for me! Thankful!

It has been neat for me to share about this pregnancy with others. In doing so I've learnt more about the journeys of other people I've come across. Just in the past few weeks three people I've spoken to have revealed that they also had trouble conceiving at some point- one had secondary infertility and the other two also went through a time of primary infertility.

What's interesting is that if I didn't share about our difficulties, they probably wouldn't have either! It is definitely extra cool sharing with people who understand how huge this is to us.

Lastly, Esther wrote this post today that was vulnerable and food-for-thought, whether we are dealing with IF or in other tricky situations. Thought it was definitely one for sharing.

Hope you are ok out there? Thanks for reading!

Award!

Thank you to Jen at Discovering Joy in the Storm for the Stylish Blog Award (and previously Grace at Chois-R-Us for the Versatile Blog Award, which I'm sorry I didn't pass on. I just left it for a bit and that it turned into months then it was just too silly to do it later on.)

I came across both these ladie's blogs via Hannah's Prayer Forum/Community which has been a great place of support and encouragement. Jen is going through an IVF cycle right now and Grace has adopted a boy!

I don't know if it is too confusing to combine awards... so I'll just stick to passing on the Stylish Blog one since that is more recent!

Rules:
1. Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 other bloggers.
4. Contact the bloggers and tell them about the award.

Share 7 Things

1. I take a really long time to write posts and post them! (Same with emails!) You may have already guessed that from the way I say stuff on here. I can't help it. I tend to write things and then re-read and check and re-read. Trying to get better/faster at it though! haha.

2. I love shopping and getting good deals. Sometimes I just roam the mall on my own to see what things are out there. I just like looking at different styles and things even if I'm not buying anything.

3. I do really enjoy cooking and baking though if I am rushed or don't have enough time I tend to stress!

4. I work at a Fitness Centre that is run by a non-profit Christian organisation. We are a gym just like any other, and our ultimate desire is to reflect and share Christ in the community. Even though we have been in 'ministry' before this has been very different and has taken a while to get our head around!

5. I've lived in New Zealand for 10 years. Before this I lived in Singapore.

6. I am terrible with phone calls... I don't like them compared to other means of communication... don't know why! It can make me awkward... I prefer speaking face to face.

7. I love listening to music so I'm always wanting more and more CDs (yeah I haven't quite moved on yet) because I tend to overplay ones that I have!

Award 15 other bloggers (but I only have 10 here...)

I know these awards sometimes circulate a few times round so feel free to do whatever... but here goes:

1. Grace at Chois-R-Us

2. Heather at reach in, reach out, reach up

3. Amel at Serenity in Chaos

4. Beckie at Beckie's Infertility Journey

5. Barb at Mommy's Two Monkeys

6. Surely at Shirley Goodness and Mercy

7. Thelma at Life As Two

8. Ruthie at In All Things...

9. Christy at Living Life With the Staveleys

10. Teri at Sommer Days

In the News This Week

Been aching to write more but it has been a tiring couple weeks. Life can be sticky sometimes huh. There's gunk at the bottom of the sink, there are dentist visits that cost a couple hundred dollars, and there are issues inside of me that God is trying to sort out that make me cry into my bowl of lunch at home when a meaningful song comes on! haha... sigh... ANYWAY. Here are some other headlines.

1.

Limping Dog Has Knee Problem

 

Poor Sammy was found to have some knee damage from one of his many mad leaps from the yard to the deck, but thankfully he didn't need surgery. Finding all that out cost us over $400. And if he'd needed a procedure it would've been $1500. Pretty much like if a normal person had private knee surgery. That would've been very sucky. In the meantime, how do you tell a dog that thinks he's TIGGER, not to run?

2.

Woman Finally has Haircut

The other day I looked like this... (we went out to Takapuna for a coffee and had dessert too. Yay!)

Now I look like this... (Tried to have the dog in the photo so that it wasn't so weird just taking a photo of myself haha... but he keeps looking away.)

I found a new place to cut my hair. The lady was lovely and I'm totally going back to her, but I have to say I had one of those 'IF conversations'. It wasn't too bad at all, but I can see how scenarios like this can turn us into some crazy-IF-er if encountered on the wrong day... This is how it went after we conversed for a while:

Stylist: Do you have kids?

Me: No, but I'm actually pregnant. (Decided to just say it. Pretty obvious these days anyway...)

Stylist: Oh I thought so but didn't want to assume. (Which was very sweet of her.) How long have you been married?

Me: Six years.

Stylist: Oh you took a while to start then!

Me: Um... we wanted to start having children about three years ago but it just 'took us a while'... (Decided to keep it vague.)

Stylist: Well, sometimes I think your body just gets used to not conceiving and just doesn't know what to do for a while...

Me: MmmHmmmm... (I know she was trying to be kind and part of her theory may be based on her own experience as she has a large age-gap between her kids- who knows! But anyway, I decided not to pursue it and left it at that!)

Also this week, I had an actually-terrible conversation about baby loss with someone... but we won't keep going on this today. I think I'll leave it for now!

3. 

Dishwasher is A-GO-GO!

At Christmas, we got given money from both my parents and my in-laws to go towards some home improvement things, one of which was a dishwasher! I've been desiring one for a while. Very thankful!

Took us a few weeks but the husband and his clever self managed to figure out how best to fit it into our kitchen... He did a bunch of work re-sizing the one cabinet and getting a new countertop ($15 from trademe!). 

And along with the electrician and plumber, we got there!

4.

Blog Wins Second Award

There are some fun awards going around and this week I won an award from Jen. Thanks! Honoured! I have also won an award from Grace before but I never passed it on. Ugh... Terrible! So I will pass them on this time. Hopefully in my next post.

Random Ten Things at 10am

We have a team planning day ahead so let's see if I can squeeze a post in.

1. Saturday! How are you doing? Hope you have a good weekend. Are you doing anything with your man for Valentine's Day? We're not big V-Day types around here but we are thinking we might go have ice-cream tomorrow or something.

2. Check out this blog if you are into making crafty things for Valentines Day! There are so many crazy good ideas in here.

3. If you like photos and photography, check out this guy's stuff of his kids. They are such brilliant photos! Though I'm not sure how he does them. Helps that he is a professional photographer I guess haha... Here's his blog too if you want some recent/ongoing photos of them.

4. We have started a mini prayer network, called 'IF & When' at our church for those going through infertility and/or pregnancy loss... or just lots of waiting for children in general. I am so thankful that we have been able to do this and I'm hoping and praying that it will be a good support and encouragement to women at church and maybe even those in our community later on.

It is so exciting to see how God can use these hard and painful issues to connect some of us together...

5. My blog friend Heather wrote this beautiful post the other day. It is sort of along the same lines of a post I wrote a couple weeks ago, about how we, as wives, might feel about our husbands in this time of waiting for children.

6. I'm continually humbled by the number of people who have told me that they have been praying for the husband, baby and I. It is amazing. Thank you God for how sneakily and wonderfully You work!

I guess us being fairly open about our journey has allowed the information to be 'out there' so there are people who I don't know very well who have been thinking of us and praying for us. It means so much to me finding that out!

And it teaches me a thing or two because I really struggle to pray consistently for others, yikes. But anyway. Feeling very blessed.

** Pregnancy/Baby talk **

7. Our scan! It went very well. They checked on the baby's anatomy with so much detail. You could see so much (and we only did the normal scan, not the 3D one)... things look good... so relieved!

8. A boy! Very thankful that we got to find that out, as we were hoping to. We would've loved a girl too, so either is great of course. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't dreaming it up and just have some big grapefruit stuck in there. Honestly, yes was anxious. haha...

Yay!!!!! We kinda walked around in shock for a little while after. Is this for real?

9. So on Monday I make it to 20 weeks and that will be officially halfway. Ohmygosh. I kinda want the pregnancy to hurry up, so that I can meet this baby. I want to meet you! But I know I need to treasure these days too. So it is a funny feeling.

** Over and Out **

10. I'm feeling so much better but still tired a lot! Sigh... Hope you have had a good week? I'd better start getting ready. Think this was one of the fastest posts I've done. (Sorry if sentences are a bit choppy.) GO ME! Have a great weekend guys.

Hold Your Pink Horses People...

He's a HE!

All looks good and healthy as far as we can see from the scan. It was very amazing. We are super thankful and praising God!

AHHHHHHHH!

Ten Things at 10am

1. Happy New Year to those who are of Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese or Japanese background (sorry if I missed a few others, don't know the whole list)! Hope you are having a lovely time celebrating and eating a lot with family.

2. We don't do that much for Chinese New Year here in NZ, as most of our relatives are in Singapore, but we do try. My mom has a big dinner on the 'eve' and we get together with friends who are also here with few relatives.

3. Last year, the husband and I sorta 'skipped' Chinese New Year because something came up (hospital! ugh. was not fun but we are ok.) so this year I've tried to decorate a little and put a bit more effort into it. Wanna see?

**preggie talk ahead**

4. We've made it to 18 weeks people! AAHH! (That's like 4.5 months which is like halfway! Though they count to 40 weeks for the due date...)

5. Next week we will have our anatomy ultrasound. We get to see the baby! It is like Christmas. I think I have been looking forward to it for like two months. This will be one weekend where I don't mind if it goes too fast. Honest.

6. It is more obvious now that I'm pregnant, which is pretty freaky. It looks huge to me! Definitely still seems unreal sometimes when I look in the mirror.

7. I have felt some movements in there. It is very exciting! Another thing I never dared to dream about. Thankful!

8. The husband definitely thinks I have 'baby brain' which I've always been stubborn to believe is real but I think for me, this seems to be true. The other day I said something like," 14 + 2 = 18". And I'm supposed to be good at math. SAD.

**preggie talk over**


9. I loved this post the other day from (in)courage... I was actually drawn to its title, "Waiting in my Wings" because I thought of the verse from Psalm 91:4,

He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;

And then when I read it I found out that it was about waiting specifically to be a mother!

10. Weather- it is super muggy over here- 92% humidity right now- and we are all sweating the days away.

Over in Aussie they have just been hit with a MAJOR cyclone, with damage all over. Can't even begin to imagine! And I my bro in the States says, where he is, it has gone pretty nuts with the snow, power cuts, etc. Hope you all are keeping safe and sound wherever you are!

Life Lessons from Sammy The Dog

1. Be consistent.

Poop in the same place.

2. Consider savings and investments.

Save for a rainy day and invest in quality things- Hide your bones in the dirt somewhere. (When you dig up the half decomposed yummy treat, they may be so 'pleased' with you that they keep the black and mouldy thing for themselves and give you a brand new one.)

If they anticipate that you'll bury the nice new bone and don't let you out, hide it in the couch when they are not looking. They'll never know.

(this cracked me up so much!)

3. Eat healthy.

Eat only what you need at breakfast and dinner. There's always gonna be more kibble, but work for the treats in between meals, that's the real deal.

4. Sleep well.

 Sleep as much as you can in the day, so you can wake up before them and start warming up for the morning walk a couple hours before the man is ready. Tip: Lie right at their bedroom door just in case they miss you when they open it.

5. Communicate clearly.

Lick, wet-nose nudge, lean all your body weight, roll over, put head in lap, etc... These are obvious techniques for getting them to know you would like a rub. Tip: Stare deeply into their eyeballs. That often works.

6. Be yourself.

They might be surprised by who you are at first but they will come round eventually. The lady needs to learn that she can teach me new things and I do adapt to my new home, but really I will come as I am. This is good training for her for the future of motherhood and adoption maybe.