Ten Things at (not really) 10 am (more like 12pm)

The fastest way for me to post is to list. So here I go. This is a jumbly list of things.

1. This weekend is a long weekend for us here in NZ- Labour Day. It has also been quite sunny! Loving it. Yay for warmth!

2. However, I haven't been feeling all that wonderful. I'm not sure if I have allergies or am just run-down. I'm yawning by 9pm and crawling into bed by 9:30pm! Grrrr. Thankful for not having to work tomorrow though.

3. I have started to get quite depressed about supermarket-ting. I used to like it but now it comes with such dread! (Maybe because I'm terrible at writing a shopping list... cos' it all depends on what is on discount! You know what I mean?)

It is such a big job... walking your socks off, pushing big bafoony trolley/cart around, dodging other shoppers and avoiding aisle-rage, spending a TON of money that doesn't look worth your wares, loading it into the car, then unloading it all, stocking the pantry, then doing it all again in a couple weeks.

Now I make sure I buy ONE SNACK THING as a reward, cos' I'm often starving from all the mental, physical and emotional energy I've invested into the trip... so I eat it when I've loaded the car and got in my car and BREATHE. Then start the journey home.  Yesterday I ate a banana. Not very exciting I know but still good haha...

4. My friend Ruth mentioned making cards recently on her blog... this inspired me to make some the other day. I'm not very hard-core (like not at all a proper scrapbooker-type) about it but I just make the most of random things I have, like fabric.

(as you can see, i like hearts!)

There are lots of birthdays (and a wedding) that have been going on this month. I'm already late for some, ugh terrible I know. This is also a good money saving thingy (which I'm trying to do!) as I can get super carried away buying cards and gifts, etc.

5. My blogger friend Grace and her husband are adopting and waiting for their child to come home to them. She finally has just heard some good news... it is possible that she will be able to bring him home from Korea in 6 to 9 weeks. SO STOKED FOR THEM!

6. Heather at reach in, reach out, reach up posted about some myths about infertility. This is a great post... I myself may have said stuff like this to others before experiencing infertility myself and I understand that with IF and loss, sometimes there really is never anything to say that is good or helps... but at least avoiding the really bad ones is a plus. (At the moment one of the hard ones for me is wondering if people think that adoption is our new fertility treatment. It is not.)

7. My super friend C has been celebrating her birthday this weekend! Happy Birthday!

8. I'm running a half-marathon in a week. I have to admit I'm quite worried about it. Am I prepared enough? Will I survive? Have I set too high of a goal? AHHH... I'm also raising money while I run, for the Heart Foundation. If you'd like to donate, click here. (Don't laugh, I've been pretty laidback about the fundraising.)

9. IF stuff never leaves me... I often randomly count the number of people I know who are pregnant. Do you? I hate that I do this as it is just plain ol' torture... but I can't help it. It is reaching the point where 80-90% of my friends are either pregnant or have kids or are 'trying'... I wonder if you ever get used to it.

10. Right now, the husband is vacuuming. Yes! I am so thankful for him. haha.

Have a good weekend.

Round 8- Still Going Strong... ish

It is so hard not to whine about it. I'm two and a half weeks into the injections and they are starting to grow weary. (You know it is when the needles start to hurt when they didn't really bother me that much at first...) It feels like I've had a million blood tests and I've made too many treks across the city to collect my drugs every few days. Not to mention two scans already plus one more looming over the weekend.

C'mon stubbovaries! Pop those follicles!

The nice thing is that one of the doctors doing the scan the other day (and yes, it was a 'he' and yes I've become shameless) acknowledged how patient you gotta be when you do ovulation induction. It was just a simple statement but the fact that he acknowledged that there's a lot of waiting and teenytiny progress-watching was just good to hear.

Then he sent me home and told me to wait more.

Sigh.

Waiting is another intriguing theme of the infertility drama. You wait in general, big-picture, for God's plan to unfold, you wait for answers to mind-twisting and confused questions you have for Him, somedays... you just want to wait for heaven because the loss and pain are hard to bear.

Then you also wait for the more technical things like, for the days to pass until you can try a new cycle again, then you wait for all the drugs to kick in, and you wait for the dreadfully difficult phone call after the two-week-wait. Amongst other things.

Years,
months,
weeks,
days,
hours,
minutes,
seconds.

I've never been better at counting. But what number am I counting to?

I know I'm not the only one waiting. Some are waiting to meet the right man, some are waiting for a good job, others are waiting for healing... in the meantime, how do we still live the best we can?