It seems silly to be writing a blog post when there are people in Christchurch waiting to be rescued after the earthquake. It has barely been twenty-four hours and yet so much has happened! I think many of us in Auckland feel helpless as there's nothing we can do except sit, watch and pray.
I feel like infertility and loss has taught me again and again that you can live life in 'two dimensions' (or levels?). Like you live the everyday and try your best with your daily activities where you move and and keep going in hope, but your inner life can be filled with much commotion like painful waiting or grief that you don't/can't wear on the outside.
I think this is what it is like in a disaster situation too... you are trying to get on with life or be pro-active in doing something, but your insides (heart, mind, etc.) is swarming with questions and emotion.
The hard part is sometimes the two seem to be in contrast, like me typing at my computer in my safe little Auckland-bubble, while thinking and praying for others who are in absolute danger or looking for missing family.
So.. transitioning to my small world, I was thinking to write a quick update. I've made it to 21 weeks! I'm past halfway. The husband managed to feel movements for the first time the other day too. That was very exciting and emotional for me! Thankful!
It has been neat for me to share about this pregnancy with others. In doing so I've learnt more about the journeys of other people I've come across. Just in the past few weeks three people I've spoken to have revealed that they also had trouble conceiving at some point- one had secondary infertility and the other two also went through a time of primary infertility.
What's interesting is that if I didn't share about our difficulties, they probably wouldn't have either! It is definitely extra cool sharing with people who understand how huge this is to us.
Lastly, Esther wrote this post today that was vulnerable and food-for-thought, whether we are dealing with IF or in other tricky situations. Thought it was definitely one for sharing.
Hope you are ok out there? Thanks for reading!