How to Heart a Hardware store

Marriage takes a deeper plunge too when you are dealing with infertility and loss. I have learnt a lot about how I know very little about the male psyche and how it functions, but miraculously we eventually do get to conclusions together (probably more by the grace of God than by normal resolve haha)... but I'll leave that for another day.

The husband and I are trying to make sure we spend time with each other. Like everyone else, life is busy and it is easy to let things go with the flow, then suddenly you realise you haven't really connected for a while.

Yesterday we were supposed to go for a walk outside, but because it was raining (when is it not?), the husband convinced me to go to the hardware store with him instead, since he had a small list of things to buy. His thought was that we could do our 'walk' there. (Right.)

Anyway. I went. He had good intentions and it was something to do together which is always nice, especially these days when things can feel a bit doom-and-gloom-ish.

But, it also gave me an idea. Here's a list of things you can do if you find yourself at hardware stores too, and believe me, I'm a pro. (I married a man who has car projects, yard projects, home projects- some my fault, don't-throw-away-that-I-can-fix-it projects, that have gone for longer than a year simultaneously, and yes, we have had meals in the garage.)

Here in NZ we have Mitre 10 Mega and Bunnings Warehouse- I think these are a close equivalent to Home Depot?

THE (girly) WIFE'S SURVIVAL GUIDE TO HARDWARE STORES

1. Wear comfy shoes, you never know how long you might be there.

2. Bring your phone- could be a good time to catch up on texts in between waiting for the husband to select the right kind of rivet.

3. If you are the academic kind, memorise what they have and where everything goes, it might make it faster to find something for the next time round, because you will probably be back.

4. Take note of things to get him for birthdays and Christmas. This is a hard one but yes, pay close attention.

5. Find the sections you like and go to them every time you go there so that you don't have to go where the husband goes, where everything looks the same- nail-like.

I personally enjoy looking at 'storage solutions' (plastic boxes, laundry baskets, cupboards, shelving), kitchens (for ideas), bathrooms, doors (could make a headboard out of a door), wood moulding (someone's framed a mirror with that stuff), plant pots (giant teapots are my favourite), etc. I don't really like power tools, hardware, gardening, lighting, etc... but that's just me for now.

6. Keep walking. Might as well get a bit of exercise while you are there.

7. Sometimes they sell massive bags of washing detergent/random other cleaning product like that- why not calculate if it actually is cheaper to get those than the smaller portions you get at the supermarket. That's one I've been meaning to do.

8. Ask someone for help if you or the husband need a hand. There might be a small scuffle between the two of you because either one will always claim they don't need help but it saves time (and your marriage)- that's if you can find a staff person in the giant land of metal shelving.

9. If you are feeling brave, there often is a child-proofing section, so you can plan what you'd buy there one day, or how you'd be such a great parent that the sound of your voice would turn them away from the doorknob so you wouldn't need that stuff. Of course, if that is too overwhelming to daydream about, which is often is for me, then please don't. Take that as a warning instead- so if you see baby-gate, run.

10. If you lose the husband, don't bother looking. It never turns up any finds and he's probably not ready to go anyway- still figuring out which type of wood is best. Maybe go buy some saws and sculpting tools so you can use them in the kitchen for baking like on Ace of Cakes. (Love.)

11. The paint sample cards can be semi-fascinating. They are free so you can collect a few everytime you go past and make them into some craft project at home like a piece of art (like this dress) or design your own greeting cards.

12. If all else fails, turn to food. Some stores now have cafes in them but if not, there are bags of lollies at the checkout counters, or sometimes there are sausage sizzles going outside so go have one, or two.