I'm trying to think through what it feels like when a friend tells me she's pregnant. I think maybe I should clarify that actually, it is more, what it feels like when a friend tells me she's pregnant AND I'm not (well... still not pregnant, or no longer pregnant, ultimately, not pregnant now).
Firstly, I need to assure you that I do often feel genuinely happy for the friend who has shared the news. I am glad for them that they are going to be parents and I am glad for them that they are not in my (current) shoes. At the same time though, and somehow this is possible, I'm am gutted. I'm gutted almost on a separate dimension. That they are and I'm not. And it is not about the friend or person who is having the baby, it is somehow separate. It is about the significance or the representation of the very thing I desire so badly.