This is about an unexpected journey through fertility struggles and miscarriage loss, and now motherhood... If you are on this journey too or know someone who is, I hope you find some comfort or familiarity here.
If you've been through fertility stuff, you'd be familiar with the famous "taking a break" from trying for a child. I am in one of these right now. I hate them and I love them. I hate that I am not doing anything actively in terms of fertility treatments, but I love that I don't have to think about shots, bloodtests and counting the days. I hate that I feel like I might be wasting precious time, but I love that we can enjoy things without the stresses of living in that rollercoaster-ride of fertility cycles.
To be honest, it hasn't been much of a break anyway. I have had a few tests to go through to try and figure out my three early miscarriages, one of which was supposed to be about my uterus, but they seem to have found more 'mysterious' things- a shadow by one of my ovaries. I was hoping it'd be simple but now I am waiting for an MRI to look at everything. whywhywhy.
Feels like every bit of progress we make, this is what I see:
Meanwhile, we are trying our best to enjoy our summer in Auckland. It has been hot but oh so nice. With work commitments and other mad things that have come up, we haven't been able to do a whole lot, but we live close-ish to the beach and feel pretty fortunate to be in such a gorgeous place. I love New Zealand summers.