Thursday, July 29, 2010

Thanks for Airing

This morning I watched a doco about Jay Jay Feeney and Dom Harvey, local DJs who are husband and wife and have been trying for a baby. Some friends had seen it and told me about it- they warned that it'd be hard so I left it for a couple days before I watched it. They made a documentary on their fourth IVF cycle. (It was aired on 'Sunday' on 30th of May. Click to watch it but I'm not sure if non-NZers can view the video. Sometimes the TV people limit it to locals...)

I'm sorry that it did not have a 'happy' ending but I have to say it outlined the journey so well. They also braved the cameras and shared all the emotions that the husband and I have felt too, even though we haven't done IVF before. I think all fertility treatment cycles carry similar emotional impact. I watched it as I ate my breakfast and was trying to shove the porridge in my mouth before it got more soggy.

I just appreciate that their vulnerability would've been so hard. For us, sometimes the fact that friends and family know that we are trying can be bad enough, let alone the NZ public. We want them to know because we need the prayers, support and care, but it can be so difficult too because your lives and dreams are just right out there, and as especially when something goes wrong, there is such a sense of wanting to be alone in the grief and sometimes even a strong sense of failure.

Yet openness helps us all to learn from each other and empathise, so it is a funny tension again. I think airing it on TV also helped everyone have a bit more of a realistic idea of what's involved with infertility and treatments- in this case, IVF.

It was just comforting for me to see Jay Jay do the injections, wait for phone calls and react to the various bits of news, as they were all things we have done too. It was also hard but kinda cool to hear Dom's perspective, I think it gave a voice to many husbands out there who are also on this mad mad journey. (Thank you for sharing.)


Grace said...

that's really cool they did that! and i'm sorry that it didn't have a happy ending, but in a way, it brings a realistic perspective into the pubic eye about IF, no? because, unfortunately, there aren't always immediate happy endings on the IF journey, and we rarely see that side of things in the media. kudos to this couple for their bravery and for doing their part in educating the public!

Sas said...

yeah. i know what you mean. i think it does bring some realistic light to things. ivf can work but it also can fail. sadly.

think they were totally brave to be so upfront about it. go them!